The cultural "bump" I actually experienced many times was with social interactions in unofficial situations! Casual conversations and meetings, that is. And this time the cause of "bumps" was the significant difference in humor. Humor is a social lubricant, a way to release stress and the perfect way in making strangers into friends. Humor is extremely important, and the nature of the humor also represents the soul of the people.
1. Describe
It is well known that Finnish humor is dark, sarcastic and very dry. Japanese humor is much more delicate and subtle, and often doesn't go too dark.
When I am surrounded by friends, I love being sarcastic and I often joke about something you shouldn't joke about in here: suicide. The reader should note, that this humor is only reserved for my close friends.. but sometimes mistakes happen.
So, on a normal day at a hall where students gathered on break times to eat lunch and chat with friends, I met with a close friend. The following interaction takes place:
Friend: Hey Maki-chan! How are you?
Me: Hehey man! I want to take a bath with a toaster!
Friend: Hahaha! Are you ok?
Me: I am as long as I have electricity.
Friend: That's good!
While that was a very typical conversationg for us (the friend was Japanese, who had already learned about my humor), we didn't notice that there was another Japanese student next to us, who had heard the whole conversation. The look on this student's face was a mixture of confusion and horror. Luckily my friend was able to explain that this, in Finnish manners, is humor and actually signals that the person is doing well. The student looked relieved and I apologized in Japanese for my poor judgement. Everything was ok.
2. Interpret
As I mentioned before, Japanese humor is very different. Dark humor is often not taken with open arms, unless you're very close to the people around you and they know about your country's customs and humor. In Japan, it is extremely important to always keep your composure and avoid showing any negative feelings. People who become angry or display misery publicly are considered immature and possibly dangerous. My humor was taken as me being extremely sad and thus in need of help, while in fact the opposite was true.
My friend explained to me, that when in public, Japanese tend to stick to safe topics and laugh to things that will in no way bring shame to anyone. "Keeping face" is, as I've said, extremely important. That's why I can add this personal note to anyone thinking about coming to Japan: Think about vanilla. Vanilla is pure, soft scented and without anything that will "poke" you. Sounds strange, but if you act and speak like vanilla itself, you're all set and will most likely not cause harm to yourself or more importantly to your friends and acquintances. Once you're close to your friends, you may begin revealing your more personal side. People should also learn about "honne and tatemae", which is an extremely important way of acting. I made a mistake many times to which I fully own up to.
3. Evaluate
If I was born and raised as Japanese and suddenly I heard this strange foreigner joking about suicide, I probably could not tell what was happening or how to react. Especially since I saw other people laughing at this person who was saying these horrible (for locals) things. I wouldn't know if he was actually serious and other people were actually hating him so much that they would laugh, or if they thought sad people are funny.
While the whole situation (and other similar ones) embarrass me a bit, I am glad that those moments took place. Due to those mistakes, I was able to learn great inside information about the Japanese people as personas. I learned more about how to act "like Japanese", and with the lessons learned from those, I have been able to act accordingly in my recent situations which have, in turn, brought great and respectful moments between myself and locals.
All in all, I have grown as a person and acquired new useful skills and manners that will surely assist me greatly (if not crucially) in my future endeavours in business world as well as personal social interactions. Mistakes are not bad, they're actually very good as long as no one got hurt or embarrassed and you learned something!
While this wasn't anything serious, it is definitely something that people should take care about when they come across people from (vastly) different cultures.
Lesson learned!
- Juha-Matti "まきちゃん" Katajamäki
28.08.2019
Nose, Osaka, Japan
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